The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.