I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
don't judge my taste in strippers
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.