Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana