Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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