I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
