Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
