Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
