never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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