Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
