do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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