I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
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Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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