why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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