He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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