I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
