i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this boner is exhausting
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
