Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
