So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
