Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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