I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
jump out the window naked night went bad
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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