Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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