I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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