Michael Bay diarrhea
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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