there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
