Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
