im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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