you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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