sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
babies were throwing up all over the place
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
