the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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