this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize