i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
