Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
