Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize