honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
