She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
