this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
