Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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