things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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