The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
