I accidentally had phone sex last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
