is your mom at the bar?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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