Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
