I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
