Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i out mim tonsoeep
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
