dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
