the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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