i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
