Sry I called you an 8
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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