i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
