I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
