I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
