I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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