How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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