Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
