How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize