Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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