Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
