That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
