I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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