Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
